How to Overcome memories of your ex?
The same way you take keys out of a baby's hands. You show them something much more exciting and colourful and interesting. It comes down to values. Teach your brain to value your ex a lot less and to value your future a lot more. There are several mind strategies to use that change the way your memories of the ex are packaged.
Let's take a look at people that way over their ex and became superstars.
People that get over their ex do so by becoming magnificently obsessed with something better than their ex.
For Stefanie Germanotta, when she had a break up with her ex, she focused her attention on her music because she loved to write and play and perform everyday. Now she's Lady Gaga.
For Kathryn Bigelow, when she divorced her husband (James Cameron) in 1991, she focused her attention on film making. Then she made a movie that was nominated for best film. She was a woman and a woman had never won an Oscar for best director in the 80+ year history of the Oscars. That year her film was up against Avatar, which was directed by her ex-husband. She won the Oscar for best film (the Hurt Locker) and best director and made Oscar history and against her ex husband.
Phil Fish had a breakup with his girlfriend and his dad was diagnosed with leukemia. He focused his energy into things that were more valuable to him so he built a video game. He had to learn photoshop, design, marketing etc. He won best indie game and made half a million dollars in one day when his game (FEZ) was released. And then he made much more when it released to ps3, ps4 etc.
Joanne Rowling was divorced and living in a mouse infested apartment with her 6 year old daughter. Joanne was suicidal and went to therapy. When she was there she learned a mind strategy for reducing fears. She got over her ex by writing the Harry Potter books and she put the mind strategy for reducing fears in one of her books, (the 'ridiculouso' thing where you imagine the scary thing getting small, giving it a funny noise and basically re-packaging the memory).
Changing the value of those memories related to your ex so that you, as the meaning maker in your life, (since you are the one that decides what things mean either consciously or 90% of the time unconsciously via your limbic system) is the difference that makes the difference.
If you want help to get your mind off your ex, neutralize emotions linked to him and be excited about your future, that's the exact thing I specialize in and I can give you a free coaching call. If not, the basic big picture overview of what people who have bounced back hardcore after a breakup is this:
Ex is emotionally de-valued or re-evaluated so the limbic system has a different autonomic response to the ex stimuli. (They can think of the ex or something that used to remind them of their ex, either internal or external, and the meaning of it is neutral or something that fuels and propels them forward NOT backwards into the past.)
They have a life purpose that outframes the ex.
They value doing something that fulfills the expression of that life purpose/theme.
They take action on it with a magnificent obsession and create a type of addiction on becoming a better version of themselves while adding value to mankind.
Learn the mental training strategies used by the military to clear veterans of PTSD. This is the strategy mentioned in the Washington Post that is considered the most effective and least known protocol for changing problem memories.
Get Over a Breakup and Learn to Change problem memories so you can move forward without the baggage of the past.
Discover how memories work so you can alter them in ways that lets you let go of the past and pick up the pieces of your life in a better way. Now you don't have to waste more time obsessing about what was when you finally learn how to get over a breakup fast and change the memories of your ex, for good!
