0 Items
The Growing Gender Divide Among Young People

The Growing Gender Divide Among Young People

In recent years, a significant gap has emerged between the political and social attitudes of young men and women in many developed countries. This divide is particularly pronounced when it comes to issues related to gender equality, feminism, and traditional gender roles.

Young women have become increasingly liberal and supportive of feminist causes, driven by a desire to address ongoing injustices such as gender-based violence, restrictive abortion laws, pay gaps, and disproportionate household and childcare responsibilities. They perceive that much work remains to be done to achieve true gender equality, and they are determined to push for change.[1]

On the other hand, a substantial portion of young men have adopted a more conservative stance, vocally opposing feminist ideals and expressing resentment towards what they perceive as a threat to their opportunities and traditional gender roles. This backlash against feminism is particularly strong among young men who feel their future prospects are being undermined by women's progress in the workplace and society.

The Education Gap and Its Consequences

One of the key factors contributing to this divide is the education gap between young men and women. In many developed countries, women have surpassed men in attaining tertiary education, with a higher percentage of young women earning bachelor's degrees compared to their male counterparts.  This disparity in education levels has led to differences in attitudes and experiences.

Educated women are more likely to embrace liberal and egalitarian values, while men with lower educational attainment may feel threatened by women's advancement and cling to traditional gender roles. Additionally, the dating and relationship dynamics have shifted, with educated women often finding a limited supply of like-minded, liberal male partners.

The Role of Social Media and Echo Chambers

Social media has played a significant role in exacerbating the polarization between young men and women. Online echo chambers allow like-minded individuals to reinforce and amplify their beliefs, often leading to more extreme positions and misogynistic rhetoric among frustrated young men.[1]

Furthermore, algorithms on social media platforms tend to prioritize content that evokes strong emotions, such as fear or outrage, potentially distorting perceptions of reality and exaggerating the risks or injustices faced by each gender.

Political Exploitation of Gender Grievances

Some politicians on the right have capitalized on the grievances of young men, cultivating an image of masculinity and virility while portraying themselves as defenders of traditional gender roles. They have tapped into the resentment felt by some young men towards feminism and women's progress, offering a narrative that resonates with their concerns.

In contrast, the political left has struggled to effectively engage with young men's issues, often dismissing or overlooking their legitimate concerns and inadvertently pushing them towards online communities that reinforce anti-feminist sentiments.

Addressing the Underlying Issues

To bridge the growing gender divide, policymakers and educators need to address the underlying issues that are driving young men and women apart. This includes improving educational outcomes for underperforming boys, introducing more male teachers, and providing vocational training to prepare young men for traditionally female-dominated occupations.

Additionally, efforts should be made to foster open dialogue and understanding between the genders, acknowledging the legitimate concerns and challenges faced by both sides without resorting to labels or dismissive rhetoric.

By addressing these root causes and promoting mutual understanding, societies can work towards closing the gender gap and fostering a more inclusive and equitable environment for all

How to Find the Right Work and Relationship Partner with the 37% Rule.

How to Find the Right Work and Relationship Partner with the 37% Rule.

Today we're diving into two huge life decisions that can make or break your happiness and wellbeing - choosing the right career path and finding the ideal romantic partner. These aren't small choices to make lightly. We're talking about the areas where you'll be spending most of your waking hours and emotional energy.

The Importance of Career and Relationships

You can mess up a lot in life, but if you nail these two things - your job and your spouse - you'll maximize your chances of long-term satisfaction and fulfillment. That's because work and family life dominate so much of our daily existence.

While modern advice often emphasizes education and career over relationships, the reality is that the quality of our romantic partnerships is absolutely critical for mental and physical health. Studies show poor relationship quality can impact mortality risk as much as heavy smoking or alcohol abuse, and even more than obesity or inactivity. Yikes.

For the career-driven folks out there, having the right partner can actually fuel your professional success too. People with conscientious romantic partners tend to have higher job satisfaction, income, and promotion rates - even after controlling for their own conscientiousness levels. A disciplined, hard-working significant other can be the wind beneath your career wings.

Here's some examples of famous high-achievers crediting their partners:

- MrBeast: "My girlfriend is very beautiful, intelligent, pushes me to be better, is okay with my crazy work ethic...love just makes me a better person."

- Conor McGregor: "My girlfriend stuck by me when I had absolutely nothing, just a dream I was telling her."

- Chris Bumstead: "She built this confidence in me...it was huge for my personal growth as a champion."

- Warren Buffett: "Susie really put me together. She made me believe in myself, which changed my life. I wouldn't have been as successful without her making me a whole person."

But of course, healthy relationships are a two-way street. Both partners should be growing, supporting each other's ambitions and bringing out the best in one another.

How We Choose Partners

So how do people go about selecting mates in the first place? Conventional wisdom gives us two contrasting views - "opposites attract" or "birds of a feather flock together." While the former makes for good romantic comedy plots, research shows we actually tend to mate assortatively - favoring partners similar to ourselves in education, intelligence, age, politics, religion and socioeconomic status.

For example, if you're a college grad, you have a 65% chance of marrying another degree-holder. But if you only have a high school diploma, your odds of landing a spouse with a bachelor's are just 9%. We like people who are like us.

However, similarity alone doesn't guarantee relationship satisfaction and longevity. A key ingredient seems to be authenticity - openly sharing your deepest thoughts and being genuine, even if your partner may not fully understand. Authentic people attract other authentic partners, while deceptive types end up together too.

Another major factor is how your partner stacks up against your other realistic alternatives or "market value." We're more satisfied when our significant other is more desirable than the other potential mates we could realistically obtain. It's not about checking boxes on some universal criteria - we're grading our partners on a curve relative to ourselves.

The 37% Rule and "Try a Dozen"

This relates to an interesting concept from decision theory called the "37% rule" or the "secretary problem." Imagine you're hiring for a job and want to choose the best possible candidate. The rule says:

1) Estimate how many total applicants you'll get
2) Interview the first 37% as a sample
3) Remember the best one from that sample
4) Then keep interviewing until you find someone better than that initial best
5) Hire that person - they'll be the top candidate

Applying this strategy to dating, you'd theoretically want to go out with the first 37% of your total possible romantic prospects as a sampling. Then keep dating until you find someone better than the best of that initial sample - and lock them down as a partner.

Obviously that's not very practical for most people. But researchers found a simplified version called the "Try a Dozen" rule can work nearly as well. With this approach:

1) Date around a dozen potential partners
2) Remember the best one from that dozen
3) Then pick the very next person you meet who is more appealing than that best one

These are just theoretical models illustrating the challenges of optimizing this huge life decision. They have limitations and may not apply to everyone's circumstances. But they get at the core idea - you want a partner who is better than your other realistic options, not necessarily the universally "best" person out there.

The Ideal Situation

Many guys try to just get with the hottest possible woman they can find. But as David Buss points out, "Mates, once gained, must be retained." An average dude might score a few dates with a supermodel, but her abundance of better options creates instability and jealousy issues in the relationship.

The reverse isn't ideal either - being with someone way less attractive than you breeds dissatisfaction and wandering eyes. The sweet spot, according to Buss, is "when both people feel lucky to be with the other person."

If your current dating pool isn't as attractive as you'd like, well, there's a simple solution - become more attractive yourself! Hit the gym, groom yourself better, dress sharper, earn more money, get a cool side hustle. Small upgrades in your own stock can dramatically improve your romantic market value.

Green Flags to Seek

So what positive qualities or "green flags" should you be looking for in a potential long-term partner? According to relationship experts, some key ones include:

- Clear communication, even during difficult times
- Emotional maturity and stability
- Inquisitiveness and willingness to understand your perspective
- Quickly returning to emotional baseline after conflicts
- Stating needs directly instead of playing games
- Avoiding character attacks like "you always..." or "you never..."
- Not using the silent treatment as punishment

The ability to communicate constructively, especially when tensions are high, is crucial. As is having the emotional intelligence and self-awareness to manage one's own feelings in a healthy way.

An inquisitive mindset - striving to understand your partner's point of view rather than make assumptions - can go a long way too. As can basic emotional stability and not getting stuck in prolonged negative states.

Red Flags to Avoid

On the flip side, here are some potential red flags and toxic traits to watch out for in a prospective mate:

- Shifting responsibility for their emotions onto you ("Why did you make me feel this way?")
- Forcing you to play guessing games about their needs
- Character attacks and blanket statements about your personality
- Using the silent treatment to punish or manipulate you
- Frequent angry outbursts, yelling, or verbal abuse
- Inability to effectively manage their own mental health

If you notice these types of behaviors early on when a person is theoretically on their best behavior, that's a major red flag. It likely points to deeper underlying issues that will only get amplified over time.

The common thread here is a lack of emotional maturity and self-awareness. Trying to control your emotions for you, make you psychologically walk on eggshells, or subjecting you to frequent anger and hostility is incredibly toxic.

Finding Your "Special Person"

At the end of the day, the ideal partner is someone who supports and nurtures your ambitions, while you do the same for them in return.[1] As the psychologist Daniel Levinson describes, you want to find your "special person" - someone who "joins you on your life journey" and helps you live out your hopes and dreams.

This transcends the conventional view of romantic relationships. It's not just about love, attraction and intimacy. It's about finding a true partner who understands the deepest parts of you and helps manifest your vision for your life and future. Someone whose growth is inextricably linked to yours, and vice versa.

Levinson notes that "occupation and marriage-family are usually the most central components" of a man's life journey. Your career path and your romantic partnership form the crucible for your personal and professional development as a human being.

So put in the effort. Seek out someone you can build with, who complements and elevates you, and whom you can do the same for in return. It's one of the most important decisions you'll ever make for your long-term wellbeing and life satisfaction.

## Conclusion

These insights might help you in making two of the biggest choices that will shape your life's trajectory: your career and your romantic partner. Figure out what really matters to you in each area. Identify the green flags to pursue and the red flags to avoid. And optimize for mutual growth, support and understanding.

It's not an easy process by any means. But if you can nail these two pieces of the puzzle, you'll put yourself in an amazing position to live your best life possible. One filled with fulfillment, happiness and the realization of your deepest hopes and dreams.

So keep grinding, keep an open mind and open heart, and make these decisions consciously. Your future self will thank you. That's it for today - let me know your thoughts and questions down in the comments below. I'll catch you all on the next one!

How Our Brains Turned Fools Woke – Dr. Iain McGilchrist

How Our Brains Turned Fools Woke – Dr. Iain McGilchrist

Here are 20 key points from the video "How Our Brains Turned Fools Woke" - Dr. Iain McGilchrist:

1. The left hemisphere of the brain has become dominant over the right hemisphere.
2. This has led to a more narrow, literal, and reductive way of thinking.
3. There is a loss of nuance, context, and empathy as a result.

4. This has contributed to the rise of rigid ideological positions that are resistant to opposing views.
5. The left hemisphere is associated with categorization, abstraction, and literal interpretation.
6. The right hemisphere is associated with holistic, contextual, and metaphorical thinking.
7. Damage to the right hemisphere leads to a loss of the "big picture" and an inability to see context.
8. Damage to the left hemisphere leads to a loss of language and logical reasoning abilities.
9. The left hemisphere's dominance has resulted in a focus on parts over wholes.
10. This has manifested in a tendency towards reductionism and a loss of appreciation for complexity.
11. The left hemisphere is associated with a sense of certainty, while the right hemisphere is associated with uncertainty and doubt.

12. The left hemisphere's dominance has contributed to the rise of ideological rigidity and intolerance of opposing views.
13. This shift in brain function has paralleled the rise of "woke" ideology in modern society.
14. The video suggests that restoring the balance between the left and right hemispheres could help address these societal issues.
15. Dr. Iain McGilchrist, the speaker in the video, is a psychiatrist and author who has studied the differences between the brain's hemispheres.

16. He argues that the left hemisphere's dominance has led to a loss of nuance, context, and empathy in modern discourse.
17. McGilchrist suggests that this neurological shift has contributed to the polarization and intolerance seen in contemporary society.
18. The video explores how the brain's evolution has shaped human cognition and behavior in ways that have profound societal implications.

19. It suggests that a better understanding of the brain's hemispheric differences could help address the challenges facing modern society.
20. The video is part of a broader discussion around the "metacrisis" - the interconnected social, political, and environmental crises facing the world today.

For more from Ian Gilchrist, you may want to check out his book wehre he outlines why is the brain divided. The difference between right and left hemispheres has been puzzled over for centuries.

Drawing upon a vast body of brain research, the renowned psychiatrist, author, and thinker Iain McGilchrist reveals that the difference between the two sides is profound—two whole, coherent, but incompatible ways of experiencing the world. The detail-oriented left hemisphere prefers mechanisms to living things and is inclined to self-interest, while the right hemisphere has greater breadth, flexibility, and generosity.

The Unique Challenges of a WLW Breakup

The Unique Challenges of a WLW Breakup

A WLW (woman-loving-woman) breakup refers to the dissolution of a romantic relationship between two women or female-identifying individuals. While the emotional pain and upheaval of any breakup can be profound, WLW breakups often come with their own unique set of challenges and complexities.

The Societal Context

Women who love women have historically faced stigma, discrimination, and lack of societal acceptance. Even in modern times, many WLW couples still struggle with homophobia, heteronormativity, and the invalidation of their relationships. This social context can add an extra layer of difficulty to navigating a breakup.

Many WLW individuals have had to fight for their right to love openly and proudly. When a relationship ends, it can feel like a personal and political defeat - a betrayal of the hard-won battles for LGBTQ+ equality and visibility. The loss of a partner may also mean the loss of a vital support system and chosen family.

The Intensity of Emotions

WLW breakups are often characterized by an intense emotional rollercoaster. The depth of connection and intimacy in many WLW relationships can make the pain of separation feel especially acute. Feelings of grief, anger, guilt, and betrayal may be amplified.

Additionally, many WLW individuals have had to overcome internalized homophobia and societal messaging that their love is "less than" or "unnatural." When a relationship ends, these old wounds can be reopened, leading to a profound crisis of self-worth and identity.

The Lack of Resources

Despite the growing visibility of LGBTQ+ relationships, resources and support systems for navigating WLW breakups remain limited. Mainstream relationship advice often fails to address the unique challenges faced by queer women.

Many WLW individuals find themselves turning to online communities and social media for support and validation. While these spaces can provide a sense of belonging, they may also perpetuate harmful narratives about the "tragedy" of lesbian breakups or the idea that WLW relationships are doomed to fail.

The Pressure to Remain Friends

In the aftermath of a WLW breakup, there can be immense pressure - both internal and external - to maintain a friendship with an ex-partner. The small size of many LGBTQ+ communities can make it difficult to avoid an ex, and the fear of being labeled as "dramatic" or "difficult" may lead some individuals to prioritize maintaining a cordial relationship over their own healing.

However, this pressure to remain friends can be detrimental to the emotional well-being of both parties. It's important to recognize that not all breakups can or should result in a friendship, and that prioritizing self-care and setting boundaries is a valid and necessary part of the healing process.

The Societal Invalidation

Even in progressive circles, WLW breakups may face invalidation or minimization. Phrases like "your first wlw relationship/breakup will destroy you" [1] or the idea that lesbian breakups are "tragic, obsessive, wallowing in it" [2] perpetuate harmful stereotypes and fail to acknowledge the real pain and complexity of these experiences.

It's crucial to validate the legitimacy of WLW relationships and breakups, and to resist the temptation to romanticize or sensationalize these experiences. Every relationship and breakup is unique, and deserves to be treated with compassion and respect.

The Path Forward

Despite the challenges, it is possible to navigate a WLW breakup with resilience and grace. Here are some key steps to consider:

1. Prioritize self-care and healing.** Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit, and don't be afraid to seek professional support if needed.

2. Set clear boundaries with your ex-partner.** Decide what level of contact, if any, feels comfortable and healthy for you. Respect each other's boundaries and avoid pressuring one another.

3. Lean on your support system.** Surround yourself with loved ones who validate your identity and the legitimacy of your relationship. Avoid those who minimize your pain or make you feel ashamed.

4. Embrace the complexity of your emotions.** Acknowledge the full range of feelings you're experiencing, from grief to anger to relief. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without judgment.

5. Celebrate your resilience.** Recognize that you have survived a difficult experience and that you have the strength to move forward. Celebrate your identity, your love, and your commitment to your own well-being.

In the end, a WLW breakup is a challenging but ultimately human experience. By treating ourselves and each other with compassion, we can navigate these waters with resilience and grace, and emerge stronger and more whole on the other side.

0:00
0:00