Coaching is a conversation. Yet it is less like a normal conversation and more like a special conversation.
In meta-coaching the conversation is like none other and there's a reason for that. It is like no other conversation because it is a highly focused conversation designed to get to the heart of things quickly and efficiently and to do so in service of the client's self-actualization. It is a conversation that is at the same time both extremely supporting of the person (respectful, hopeful, optimistic, caring) while challenging (stretching, confrontative, no B.S.) the client's very best.
Coaches coach by having the kind of conversations that make a transformative difference in a person's mindbody - emotion system.
How does a coach make a difference...
Because there is someone who understands the structure and form of the activity over and beyond the content and details of what's happening on the court or field, coaching works to enhance those playing at the process level. A coach operates to facilitate the ongoing development of the player's skills, states and performances.
Coaching utilizes a special kind of psychology. It does not use the old psychology models which focused on how people are broken and need to be fixed. Not at all. At best, that is remedial psychology and informs how people can be hurt and traumatized and need to be brought up average. That's psychotherapy, not coaching.
Coaching utilizes generative psychology. Rather than healing hurts, or even working on problems, generative psychology focuses on healthy people, people who are already up to average and "okay" and who are ready for a challenge. It's for those who are driven to fully use their knowledge and skills as they seek to actualize their potential. This psychology is about generating new potentials, new resources and new strengths. Self Actualization psychology is a positive psychology focused on creating the orientation that aims for excellence.
Coach believes in, and uses, processes that activate the potentials of clients for developing higher level skills and for honing skills for more efficient performances. In coaching, we do not teach, train, consult, counsel, or give advice - we rather facilitate the self-discovery and empowerment of the client.
C Coaching is about taking what a person already does well to a new level of expertise.
C Coaching is about moving forward through the cultivation of even the smallest refinements.
C Coaching focuses in all areas of skills for performance development: public speaking, negotiating, business acumen, relationship enrichment, health and fitness, teams, etc.
C Coaching is a person-focused conversation about success, development, and excellence in performance that empowers one to move forward.
C Coaching is a catalyst for new ideas, change, and enhanced performance.
C Coaching is transformative learning. It enables a person to create change through learning which then allows one to be more, do more, achieve more and contribute more.
C Coaching enables people as it facilitates them to perform at their best, create and keep their purposes in mind, and develop a dream that becomes their life vision and mission.
Coaching works behavioral feedback.
That's why a coach provides clean and factual sensory based feedback thereby allowing a person to see him or herself as if in a mirror. This moves you to a choice point for adjusting your inner frames of mind for playing a new inner game and for adjusting behaviours for a new outer game.
Coaching operates by facilitating a very intense and focused conversation- a solution focused conversation. While this conversation takes place in the moment, it has an eye on the future. It is an explorative conversation that is intense, robust and at times, even fierce. As such, coaching is not for the faint of heart. The conversation seeks to get to the heart of a situation with eyes wide open and necessitates non-judgment awareness in both coach and client.
This robust search for patterns in the client with a non-judgment awareness describes a critical factor that distinguishes coaching from counselling or therapy. Coaching requires a lot of ego-strength. It is also the non-judgment awareness of just witnessing and cleanly and clearly perceiving what is without judgement that allows one to receive feedback. Otherwise it activates a sense of attack.
Sometimes coaching takes a freestyle approach and is like a stream of consciousness conversation. Coaching then follows the mental and emotional energy wherever the client chooses. It tracks up and down the levels of the mind discovering the matrix of frames that makes up a person's mental-emotional structure.
At other times coaching uses a process approach as it invites a client through a specific set of experiences that, like training drills, aims to bring forth a discovery of resources and realizations, and new connections between things that create a greater sense of alignment and congruency.
'Matrix: The construct in your mind of meaning frames that define and govern our sense of reality. In this metaphor, we were born into a Matrix of belief, value, understanding, and decision frames of family, school, religion, race and culture. As we grew and developed, we created thousands of additional meaning frames. These make up the Matrix of our mind.' - From Frame Games by L Michael Hall
Any medium of communication transmits information and it is information that forms us on the inside (i.e., in-forms).
The key variables for quality transformations lie in how you represent things to yourself, how you frame things, how you give meaning to things, your thinking patterns, your style of processing and encoding information, your style for registering that information in your body and neurology, and how all of these translate into your behaviours and expressions. These are the key variables from which the transformative magic arises.
This means that the key to the matrix of your mind lies in how you construct meaning.
'Words and magic were in the beginning one and the same thing, and even today words retain much of their magical power. By words one of us can give another the greatest happiness or bring about utter despair; by words the teacher imparts his knowledge to his students; by words the orator sweeps his audience with him and determines its judgements and decisions. Words call forth emotions and are universally the means by which we influence our fellow creature. Therefore let us not despise the use of words...' - Sigmund Freud.